Slow News Days

Sorry for the low post count lately, we're buying a house and moving and having garage sales and all that kind of shit. Nevertheless, I have been working on 40k stuff in the midst of all the chaos, I just haven't had much news worth blogging about. I finished painting up a couple Space Wolves landspeeders this weekend, and also wrote a long piece about my unit choices for that army that will appear here shortly. Today there's another 2k Rules of Engagement tournament at Ninja Pirates that I will be attending and shall describe in detail as always.

I get about 75 or so hits a day (tailing off after my recent slow supply of entries) and I know the Austin community is big, but not THAT big. So I think there's more than a few outlanders coming by here, probably BOLS referrals. I was interested in what they *you* might want to hear about. Obviously my approach to 40k blogging is different from BOLS, in that they provide tons of rumors, their own reference material, strategy, etc, while I simply and selfishly focus on my own games and armies. I thought in 2008 I might expand a little to give more coverage to the Austin 40k scene in general: the major players, some special events, and obviously continuing tournament coverage. What else would you turds like to hear more about? Leave me a comment if you have the time. Also, if you too have a 40k blog that you update fairly regularly and it's not listed in my sidebar section there, let me know.

X-Boxes (not the fun kind)

If you're coming back here regularly, you've probably already seen all the pictures in my sidebar before. You may have noticed in the past couple weeks or so that some of these images are not being displayed. Apparently this is due to some very common but still unresolved issue with Picasa and Blogger. I may have to switch to an alternate image host if they don't straighten their shit out pretty soon. I'd complain, but it's free, so whatever. Happy new year to all my fellow armchair generals!

The Daddi Addi

You can still reach this page through the blogspot address, but it can now also be found at www.40kology.com. Tell your friends.

You're the meaning in my life, you're my inspiration

I have this scanned image in a miscellaneous documents folder on my computer and I come across it every now and then and laugh my ass off. Warhammer Records indeed. I never actually heard the album, but after seeing the pic again, I'm going to try to find it. Other bands I'm tempted to dig up and poke fun at: Bolt Thrower & D-Rok.

Posts are coming...

I have a couple of action report posts on the way, I just haven't had time to put them up yet. And I swear it's not because I lost those games!

Pumpkins for the Blood God's Throne

Happy Halloween!

Swab the Decks

I cleaned up the blog a little bit by standardizing the margin picture width, consolidating some redundant labels, and deactivating comment moderation and the little verification box. If spam or flaming ever becomes a problem, which is highly doubtful given the number of comments or even hits that I get here, I'll just turn them back on.

Back of the Napkin

Does anyone else draw shit like this? Maybe I'm just crazy. Lemme quick splain. Probably the most fun part of 40k for me is building armies, so I do this a lot when I'm bored: draw out with little circles and simple rectangle tanks to see what a particular army construction might look like in abstract. I think I've done it since I first started playing. I know plenty of my college notes are decorated in the margins with little guard, space wolves, and tyranid formations.

It's more about understanding the general appearance of the ranks than creating some kind of battle plan. I assume this is because it doesn't really help in the chaos of an actual game - the deployment phase takes two to tango. But who knows? It might help me in some strange way to better organize the various elements of my armies. Or maybe its just another doodle to let me zone out.

Drop me a comment if you do something similarly tragic and maybe I'll skip the sanitorium.

Corporealisation and other nonsensical metaphysics

Many people are complaining about the new demon rules in the upcoming chaos codex. While I definitely sympathize and will personally miss my bloodletters, making the greater and lesser demons available to chaos marine forces more neutral and generic makes sense with the fluff they have set up in the past as well as in the new book. They spend a bit more time in the new book talking about the extreme effort involved in demons corporealising from the warp into realspace, and how taxing it is on the demons to maintain themselves in their psychic ectoplasmic manifestations, etcetera, etcetera. It would appear that it is this extreme effort that genericizes and weakens them mildly. Supposedly an all-demon force book will be coming out sometime next year, and will likely differentiate the greater and lesser demons between their various loyalties. I predict that they will try to explain a demon-oriented army by locating them on actual demon planets in the Eye, and/or by making the generals more pure and powerful demonic entities that are able to stabilize themselves and their underlings enough to demonstrate their full capabilities, i.e. demons of different factions being able to exhibit their own varying individual powers. Thus will bloodthirsters and lords of change be able to fly once more, plaguebearers will spread their associated filth, and so on. Another way to set up a more stable and thus more powerful and varied demon army could be through a large, expressly devoted cult of followers creating more suitable conditions for their messiahs through ritual and sacrifice. This could serve as another highlight of the split GW has created between the rogue/pirate marine groups and those more obsessed with the warp or devoted to a particular god. So it would make sense if this demon army book included cultists (and marine sorcerers or cult troops) and was similar to the previously defined demon world army in the EoT book. Overall I think it’s not a bad direction to go in, not to mention it gives the demon and witch hunters out there more to dig into with their own specializations, both in fluff and actual gameplay.

Lego Dreads and Such

I happened upon this guy Jerac's website, which had pictures of some awesome lego models he's created based on 40k minis. For me it was like coming full circle. Check it out.

There Goes The Galaxy...

Oh shit! They shot the Emperor! What does this mean for the future of humanity?

All the Shamans' sacrifice for nothing. It appears that after he emerged from the warp, the Starchild got all dressed up in a new tux and travelled to the nearest seat of government, which was apparently the Denver Capitol office. From there, things turned sour... ah well.

Chaos Postulatin'

More thinking about Toggog's Marauders transitioning in September...

The demon prince stats sound good, but I don't know if you can give him a demon weapon. That khorne demon weapon (blooddrinker?) sounds totally retarded! 2d6 extra attacks is ridiculous, but for a one third chance of catching a wound? Yeesh. At least he'll come with 4 wounds automatically now. Strength 7, possibility of 17 attacks charging (can that be right?), he'll still be rocking pretty hard (even with only a 3+ regular save).

I'm crossing my fingers that LCs will be available for terminator champions, in which case Gazak the Merciless (my former terminator champion with the old chaos termie skull face) will be able to rejoin his colleagues as a simple (cheap) terminator champion. Otherwise I'll have to pay to make him a lord, but I guess that wouldn't be the end of the world. I will have to scrounge up two of the (will be) old chaos terminators to make a squad of 10, as it will be necessary to keep my second reaper autocannon.

I'll get another box of berzerkers, which will provide me with enough extra models to have 2 squads of 8 berzerkers. I'll have to scour ebay for another old-model rhino for the second berzerker unit. Transporting them will be a breeze because they'll behave now without blood fury (plus plasma pistols will be "hot" again!). Then I'll use the berzerker leftovers to add 2 more "khorne" raptors to make 8 total, and get two more chaos bikes to make a squad of 6 "khorne" bikers. Sure, now those units just count as "having an icon" but there's no reason they couldn't be dressing the part.

Depending on how the points shake out, I might be able to fit the dreadnought back in (Old Man Ephaedrel). That would be nice. Also I'll probably expand the havocs to have a squad size of 10. The demons will be cheaper so I should be able to fit 2 more of those in for 10, no problem. I don't really get why they made them generic, given that they have such a varied model range, but oh well. 10 MEQs bouncing around in the killzone definitely won't hurt and it looks like they'll be almost 1/3 the price. Still, I'll no doubt long for the days of their S5 power weapons and 3+ save. I read that Jervis mentioned a demon army codex might come out in another year; maybe I'll go for that nurgle ork army I've been wanting to make ever since I saw the artwork in the Demonhunters codex.

So all in all, a box of berzerkers here, a couple of arms and jetpacks there, and I should be able to fix 'er up fairly easy to give everyone greater numbers, even if their powers will be somewhat diluted. Bah, who cares! Teleport homers for everyone!

Problems With Your Order

TO: Barney the Blood Guzzler, High Commander and “King Mack” of the Rending Angels
FROM: Imperial Supply Depot 286, Beryl VII

Commander Barney,

Congratulations on your recent founding from all the staff here at ISD 286! We know that the first five hundred years of a space marine chapter’s founding can be a stressful time, and logistics and supply are often the last things a new commander wants to think about. We at ISD 286 pledge to consistently provide high quality merchandise and expedient delivery to those forces stationed in our sector.

We received your supply order on 42.092812. Thank you for contacting ISD 286 for your chapter’s needs! Unfortunately there were a few problems with your order, which are listed below:

* Order Format: Handwritten orders are accepted in certain limited circumstances, such as emergency re-deployment (ISD FORM 188-ERD) or feral forced service requisitions (ISD FORM 152-FFS); however, our standard ordering procedures require the usage of our requisition e-form (ISD FORM 101).

* Item #1: “SPAM ASSCANNON.” We were not able to comply with this request as this is a non-existent item.

* Item #2: “CHAIN AND CUFFS LIKE TEMPLARS GOTS.” We were unable to comply with this request as this is a non-existent item. Please be advised that forces deployed on the outer galactic fringes may have access to unusual items that are normally unavailable in core systems like our own.

* Item #3: “SPIKY BITZ” We were unable to comply with this request as this is a non-existent item. Please consult our catalog, page 2556 section 82, for the “dos and don’ts” on ordering corrupted, blasphemous, heretical, or unofficially licensed materials.

* Item #4 through Item #52: The majority of these items were illegible or obscured by a large opaque drink stain on your order.

* Payment Method: In the payment method section, you wrote “TEH CH3Z.” This is not a recognized payment method. Please consult our catalog, page 1820, for our payment options, including COD, layaway purchase plans, fair trade, slave tithes, and eternal pledges of fealty. If you would like to apply for financial assistance, ISD 286 also offers low-interest emergency supply loans for qualified chapters. See page 2015 of our catalog for terms and conditions.

Please adjust those items indicated above and resubmit your order using our standard requisition e-form (ISD FORM 101). Once again, congratulations on your new founding and thank you again for choosing ISD 286 for your supply needs. We look forward to doing business with you!

Attention, All You Catachan Ladies Out There!

Domestic life got you down?

Ever get tired of devining the homestead day after day after day? Do your hands hurt at the mere thought of cleaning and filleting troublesome Devils for the rest of your life? Have you ever considered a job in the armed service of our Lord?

Well, don’t wait any longer! Report to your local recruiter today and sign up for one of our thrilling career pathways for women in the Catachan jungle fighters!

Think about all the incredible opportunities you’d receive as a proud Grenade Launcher Trooper!

Or maybe you’d prefer the adventure of serving as a Grenade Launcher Trooper!

And if that’s just not your cup of tea, consider instead the excitement of a career as a Grenade Launcher Trooper!

Here’s your chance to see the luscious jungles of our wonderful homeland on the Emperor’s dime. And you never have to worry about any douchebag commissars breathing down your neck (you know how we do)!

Do your part and sign up now!

And Now, Some Irrational Indulgence in Dice Superstition

The forces of karma sit up and pay careful attention when you’re rolling dice. The muted clack of hard plastic on felt is like a siren call to their subtle, mysterious manipulations. Arrogance, impatience, or maternal epithets are all bound to screw you in the end. Here are five things about dice and rolling that I’ve learned from innumerable games of 40k over the years. I’ve numbered them two to six because, honestly, who likes ones? Your opponent, that’s who.

2. Get your own dice - There’s no excuse for showing up without your own set. If you forgot them at home, don’t bother asking to borrow, just leave. Sit in your closet for the rest of the day and think about what you’ve done. You’re a jackass. Don’t use your opponent’s bones, even if convenient or expedient. If just one enemy die gets mixed up with a bunch of yours, the bad mojo will spread like wildfire in your hand and contaminate the whole set. The next thing you know, you just lost half your terminators to lasgun fire.

3. Match your curtains and drapes - Color coordinated dice might seem ridiculous, but nothing says devoted generalship like a set of dice that match your force’s color scheme. Besides the aesthetic benefits, you’re much less likely to mix up the dice pools, thereby preventing “creeping dice loss” (I imagine they go the same place as lost socks?), as well as warding off nasty enemy dice cooties. Seriously, that shit is real.

4. Slow your roll - A calm, collected throw is always best. Negative energy from arrogance or frustration might not affect the roll result itself; sometimes flying dice have a way of seeking out the most susceptible model on the board and demolishing it entirely. The slightest cocky swagger in your pitching arm could send that perfectly painted mini (perched precariously on yonder wrecked watchtower) toppling down to an early grave in your bitz box.

5. Two is better than one - Five-sixths might seem like a huuuuuge fraction, but it isn’t. That single centered dot has ears, and it’s listening to your words very carefully. Speak its name, and watch it rise to the top to answer your call. I’m taking a risk myself by printing this, but don’t ever say you need “anything but a one.” What you want is a “two or better.”

6. I’m killing you with mind bullets - I’ve never seen any proof that human beings can use telekinesis, but maybe (just maybe) we just don’t know how to look for it. Visualize the results you need and chant away, preferably to yourself. More than once a plaintive wish has pushed a wavering die over in the right direction.

Ghost Ride The Whip

Ghos ridin, ghos ridin. Some people I know will put a unit on the top of full transports to represent the folks riding inside. Typically they choose a sergeant or an independent character, someone of power, stature and/or gravitas. Because you don't want just any goon out there on the top, no, you need a real thug ghost riding that whip, holding it down, keeping it real, and above all, giving your enemies an eyeful of the whupass that lies just inside his can.

Roads to 40k

One of the first computer games I ever played with any real understanding was Breach for the early Macintosh, circa 1985. It was a 2-D turnbased action game, where you had a number of, yep, space marines, to attack a base or destroy different kinds of aliens, stationary guns... I don't actually remember too many details about it and I couldn't find anything at all on the interwebs about it; it's just too long dead. I think there was even a simple level editor with which you could create missions for yourself or others to work through. There were a couple of sequels but I don't think they ever did too well - I read that Breach 3 was pretty sloppy. It is strange to me that there's so little information online about the early macintosh games - Airborne, Captain Magneto, Enchanted Scepters (the World Builder showpiece)... In any case, it set the stage for my future love of all things space marines.

I became obsessed with Aliens sometime in early high school. The raw fear and suspense of the first movie was lost on me (I appreciate it more now), but the snappy dialogue, futuristic technology, and combat action of the sequel was apparently just what my doctor ordered. Not to mention the xenomorphs were given much more screen time - throw in the final confrontation with -gasp- an enormous queen, and it was a slam dunk. No matter what other roles they might inhabit from that point on, Michael Biehn would forever be Hicks, and Bill Paxton... "Hudson, sir. He's Hicks." The great appeal that the plot points and imagery of Aliens had for me would later transfer directly to the Tyranids. Such as it is, even a 'nid player can appreciate the smug satisfaction of an opponent as they blast apart your bugs; you know you're the bad guy, and anyways, you can take comfort in remembering that (usually) the tide will turn when you reach his lines and your depleted forces still tear his troopers limb from limb.

I didn't see Patton until years after I first started playing 40k, but it stoked my fire for playing Imperial Guard like no other war movie had done prior. After watching Patton's armor, infantry, and artillery reduce Rommel's column to chaos in a spectacular desert ambush, it set the wheels of my imagination working. This geargrinding would persist and finally culminate with the completion of my own guard army - the 14th Tiefwalder. Obviously, Platoon and Full Metal Jacket lent their own imagery. I always really liked the scene late in Jacket when a single tank arrives to assist the pinned-down soldiers, providing cover for the infantry and destroying the sniper-infested buildings one at a time.

Anytime I need extra inspiration to paint or play some Space Wolves, I turn to The 13th Warrior. Sure, there's some cheesy shenanigans (mostly involving Banderas), but the pitched battles between the enormous, fur-clad warriors from the north and the insane, primitive bear folk are great stuff to get the norseblood flowing. For the same reason, I was disappointed to hear bad things about Pathfinder. Oh well.